Being an emcee was indeed the highlight of the year; 2013. I never thought of actually hosting an event! I was the type of girl to think a lot but I don't say the things out loud, I don't have an outgoing personality, in parties I barely talk to anyone, I am not good at conversations, I am not the sort of person that can make a good joke! I mess up a lot in front of an audience!...even when I was a kid, I took voice lessons and I sang "Tomorrow" by Annie even though the recitals consisted of what, 9-10 kids who were the only ones I had to sing to, I went low on the "...daay-aaaa-waaay...." instead of it ending at a higher pitch.

I remember I think this desire started since I was in primary school? I wanted to go on stage, our school! I don't know why but I would normally and easily criticize the people on that stage! I think there were a few times I did show and tell but I think some teachers restricted me from wearing these fancy costumes and dancing just because of my skin complications. I guess from there my self esteem started getting lower. 

When transferring to an international school, gosh! The more I wanted to go on stage, I wanted to stand out. There was this one musical which was called, "The musical school bag" and my whole class and I sang as a choir and well, to the people who stood in front of me, I am sooooo sorry if I might have damaged your ear drums. I wanted to stand out and so I sang the loudest, cause I was like, "Oh I had voice lessons, I can sing better than them" oh boy was I wrong!!! Hahaha... I sang so loud that I really went off pitch. I knew it too. However, when it came to doing solo well not really solo but a few people on stage including me like acting on stage, my heart beats so fast! I can still remember that I was 

only supposed to pose as "the pharaoh" I even wore a mask! Yet I was so nervous.

Collecting my certificate of graduation from high school also made me nervous, I think until I started becoming a lecturer at church things got easier. I learned so much more from there. Moving to Singapore made this desire to be more unaccomplishing...is that even a word?...well...its harder to accomplish... cause it's like starting a new life all over again. Well, the tables were turned and I believed in myself, I want to and I will. 

I joined this one organization at school called "International Students Club" which recently just changed to "International Club" and as a freshman and a new recruit, my seniors really appreciated my normal English way of speaking and suddenly they target me to be one of their hosts in the upcoming event, well I have seen their shows and their shows are really big; >500 audiences as in like theatre style big shows. I can't believe this but I went against them, I told them I had no experience, I'm not good at public speaking and just because I can speak well fluent in English, that doesn't make me a public speaker! 

Last year, being a year 2 student I really urged myself to try hosting the new event which was the International Student Festival. There were time where I told myself I didn't want to but I managed to fight that part of me and just told the president of the organization that I want to Emcee and that I am ready.

I was then confirmed that I will be hosting along with a partner whom I got along well with as he was a classmate in a previous semester and we started preparing.

During the period of preparation, a friend asked me to help out and host one of the events she was organizing, it was a casual event and I warned her that it would be my first time to emcee and I guess I didn't have that good connection with my partner?(it was a different partner by the way) I will say there were big mistakes like running and clashing against my partner...hahah HORRIBLE

The main event was bigger, the one I was fully prepared for but still I didn't do my best, nervousness I guess. I showed a lot of signs of nervousness definitely.